Site Navigation

Explore the Blog

How to Be Happier: Part 1

Who wants to be happier? All of us, right!?

My Facebook followers said they needed some tips and strategy around the topic of peace of mind, so I decided to tackle happiness first!

No one is 100% happy all the time {that’s normal}, and most of us want to be at least a little happier than we currently are.

I have a formula that you can use in your life right now!

MEANING makes you FEEL a certain way and your FEELings make you ACT (or behave) a certain way.

Imagine something going on in your environment – a slow checkout line, a coworker that isn’t doing work on time, a partner that’s frustrating you.

With any situation, you’re immediately giving it a meaning (probably unconsciously).

You’re deciding if it’s a good or bad thing.. a fun thing.. a mean thing.. and a curious thing..

As you decide what it means, you’re starting to feel feelings – happiness, anger, excited, sad, etc.

THEN you act based on those feelings (as a general rule).

Yes we have logical brain and logical thinking too however our feelings are BIG drivers of our behavior especially in REACTING to something as it’s happening.

The meaning you assign to something is going to make you feel a certain way and therefore act a certain way in your life.

Here’s an Example

(adapted from The Queen’s Code)

You would like your partner to take out the trash when it’s full. You arrive home and the trash can is overflowing so you get annoyed or mad.

You might think or say “whyyyyyyy doesn’t he take out the trash??”  “He doesn’t love me enough or he would take out the trash.”

The meaning you’re assigning in this moment is he doesn’t love me because he didn’t take out the trash. That makes you feel like crap which makes you act like a brat. Annnnnnnnd you’re less happy!  Bummer!!

What if you assigned another meaning to the trash being full?   Can you think of 3 reasons?

Maybe he didn’t notice. Maybe he didn’t know it was his task for the day. Maybe he forgot that you asked him.  None of those meanings indicate that he doesn’t love you.

If you assign a different meaning in this moment, you will FEEL differently in this moment, then you can ACT differently and bypass the whole negative cycle.

If you get to decide (and you do), then which would you choose?

Empowering or negative?  Happy or sad?

Practice Today: Ask yourself – “What meaning am I assigning this?”  And then “What else could this mean?”

This is Part 1 in a series called How to Be Happier. Check back tomorrow for Part 2!